Fall In Love

Are you ready to fall in love?

I will never forget the year I fell in love with myself. Not just in a generic way, but the full-on Disney and 90s romcom kind of falling in love. I cared about my opinions and my feelings! I mattered! I loved spending time with me! I loved who I was becoming and who I was and I even loved who I had been before! I did nice things for myself and started taking better care of myself! I spent time getting to know myself, learned my own governing values and what I stood for! I learned to love trying new things and laughing with abandon at my failures instead of feeling like I was the failure!

These may all sound like no-brainers, but they were all new for me. At least in any kind of lasting fashion.

You see, I got to have the unique experience of falling in love with myself at the same time as the person I loved most was being overtaken by his own big feelings of hurt and telling me all the ways I wasn't worth loving but could be if I'd just be...smaller...quieter...better..... Telling me all the ways my past poor choices made me a terrible person. Making fun of the things I valued and enjoyed. Dismissing my opinions and feelings as ridiculous, oversensitive, or just plain wrong.

And that's where the Disney and the 90s romcoms fail us. Because if that handsome prince is the reason we are lovable then what happens when his opinion changes? What happens when life shifts and that handsome prince starts acting like a venomous snake?

Does that mean we aren't lovable anymore?

This is why all the gurus tell us to love ourselves first. Not because we aren't capable of loving others, but because we need to continue to love ourselves even when others aren't able to.

Life is so much more enjoyable when we are in love with our own damn selves and LOVE what we choose to do with our one wild and precious life.